My mentality about dating has changed drastically since my last long term relationship. I am dating for marriage now. The process for me when dating for long term marriage is completely different than dating just to obtain a boyfriend. I need to know E-VER-Y-THANG! I no longer go out just to be wined & dined. Been there done that. I now date with strong intention: to get to know the guy. It’s easy for me to get a boyfriend because many nice men are interested in me. But many guys wanna waste my time, try to control me, get in my head, play games, toy with my emotions, and monopolize my resources. It’s not a game for me anymore. I’m not here to just be looked at or get expensive meals payed for. I need a husband. I need a partner. A man whom I’m gonna be excited to spend time with. A man who has his faith aligned. Someone with substance who knows exactly where he’s going with his life. It’s deeper than expensive bottles of wine, walks on the beach, shopping sprees, and roses. Any guy with the money who knows women love that shit can execute those types of things. But once the romance dissipates, the looks start to fade, the bellies get rounder, and the candlelight goes out, you’re stuck with the person’s character and mind [Hence another reason why I named this blog Mental Luxury]. So I’m dating to collect data. Who are you? What matters most to you? What’s your vision for your life? I don’t need candlelit dinners with bottles of champagne to get to know you (even though those things are nice). As I’ve grown older, I realize that finding a man of God is so immensely important to me. A man of principles. Now once I see that the guy is amazing and a great fit for me, we can do all the romance afterwards. And no sex before monogamy. So many men lie about who they are and what they’re about and will put on a strong front for months to get what they want from a woman. Therefore, I wouldn’t date any other way than this. I am able to rip the mask off men (and people in general really) by asking the right questions and paying VERY close attention. That is how I can tell the real from the fake. The weak from the strong. The mentally and emotionally stable from the insane, lol. God I love dating this way. I don’t waste much time at all! Thank you God for showing me the way. Amen.
Mark my words. I’m coming for you.
It’s been a lil minute since I’ve written here but I’ve been very busy filming, working, auditioning for HUGE casting directors, and recharging my batteries/feeding my soul/going to church. I’ve been thinking about you guys a lot though. I kept thinking back to a year ago when I wrote the article “The Burnout” on here. I’ve gained sooo much insight and clarity lately about that time in my life. I remember exactly how I felt at the time: I was stressed out, tired, unmotivated, and living in a toxic relationship. My… have things changed. I feel like myself again and I live alone now – happily.
Everyday I feel recharged and grateful. I live on Hollywood Blvd. in LA, drive my dream car, eat organic and natural foods, have God in my life, audition for big projects every week, film a lot, and my relationship with my mother and father has improved. I’ve healed a lot of deep wounds & issues and I feel thankful everyday that I have overcome such negativity. I realize I am living my dream.
Last year, my ex I was living with was stunting my growth (I was in fact outgrowing him and he pointed this out first actually), he was being way too judgmental and critical of me, I was doubting myself, overworking myself to please someone who kept moving the goal posts and laughing at my frustration (narcissists do that), feeling under appreciated, and in a bit of a negative mental place. The enemy was busy and I was exhausted. Of course, I did not see the brunt of all this while I was in the thick of it. I started writing here a lot more because I needed an outlet for how I felt and for my thoughts.
I started Mental Luxury to express myself and share my vision. I’m so happy I did because looking back, I now see what I was truly enduring. And it also gives me a sense of where I’m going. Starting Mental Luxury gave me my confidence back (what I had lost of it at least) and forced me to look at the Big Picture. I saved myself. Mental Luxury saved me. Thank you.
I’m so lucky and blessed to be able to wake up everyday in my dream apartment with my dream car, pursuing and making my dreams come true, all while being grateful and appreciative of it all. I hope I can be an inspiration to all of you. Follow your dreams. Make it happen. Keep going. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
Go see it if you haven’t already!!
This movie was nothing short of amazing. Words cannot explain how much respect I have for Denzel Washington and Viola Davis. They both won Tony Awards for their Broadway revival of the play in 2010 after delivering 88 performances. Both actors have been dedicated to the craft for most of their lives: a level of dedication I can only hope to be able to live up to and be fortunate enough to have a career as long as them. After 88 stage performances, an unknown amount of rehearsals & preparation for both stage and screen, and multiple takes for the camera, I just knew this movie was going to be a masterpiece! Denzel directed and produced the film. Another great August Wilson play produced for the screen to live on forever. Loved, loved, looooved it! Now I’m hearing Denzel is bringing a whole string of stage plays adapted for the camera to theaters. I’ll be on time for that!
Warning: There are some really funny moments from Denzel’s performance! Inside joke: Blast a hole into forever hahahaaa!
I’m obsessed with Detroit producer J-Dilla’s discography. Just pick a track with your eyes closed and it’s most likely a classic. He was amazingly talented, had that old school hip hop feel to his records but still original and more of a “feel good” sound. Some of my favorite tracks of his are Look of Love (also the Remix), Reunion, Won’t Do, Players, and Climax. I could probably name 10 more but I’ll save it for later. Here’s a little gem I discovered the other day:
RIP Jay Dee